Bill Doherty on Marriage...

The only thing that rivals parenting for sheer challenge in today’s world is marriage, which holds our fondest hopes and our worst fears about permanence of relationships in life. A core part of my mission is to restore a culture of hope about marriage by showing how couples can be intentional about their marriage and by promoting community and cultural support for marriage. We have to do marriage better for our sake and for our children.

I spell out these ideas for lay audiences in my book Take Back Your Marriage. Download chapter two of Take Back Your Marriage here. It talks about how the consumer culture impacts our married life. You can also download chapter seven of Take Back Your Marriage, dealing with the topic of unnecessary divorce.

These ideas are also the foundation of my community work for marriage in The Family Formation Project, where we work with urban unmarried couples who have a child and a desire to make their relationships work against great odds.

And these ideas are why I co-founded (along with Kathleen Wenger) The National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists, a web resource and therapy directory for couples who want a therapist who is both skilled and committed to helping marriages succeed. Unfortunately, many therapists these days are either not skilled in working with couples or not supportive of marital commitment when spouses are distressed and demoralized. What are questions to ask a marriage and family counselor? and What should you look for in a marriage and family counselor? Those are answered on Marriage Friendly Therapists.

There are a lot of resources for couples beyond the world of therapy in the field of marriage education. Marriage education equips couples with the skills for making marriage work in today’s world, and also fosters the attitudes and values needed to counteract the me-first consumer approach to marriage (what’s in it for me?). Marriage education classes and activities also connect couples to one another and break down the isolation so many couples experience. For information about these resources, go to www.healthymarriageinfo.org and www.smartmarriages.com.